p-push it real good

Okay here's what the voice on the tube just got through saying: "Why do some problems come in twos? Like feminine itch and odors?" What the fuh?

And while I'm at it, correct me if I'm wrong but nothing is more NASTY than that bitch on the boat using a tampon to plug the leak. They show the applicator coming off and the string swaying in the water. NASTY

I can't get the song Push It out of my head. It's always there. OMG that reminds me... what was that one reality show a few years ago where they put that skinny dude in a room and played Tiny Bubbles over and over, backwards, slow-mo, sped up, etc.? Over and over until he was this [ ] close to losing it? Oh wait I think it was, yeah it was The Mole. Man, that was a long time ago. Another song that sticks is that song by 5.6.7.8s called Woo Hoo, that goes Woo Hoo, woo oo oooh, Woo hooo, woo oo ooh... etc.

So does anyone have any guilty-pleasures to confess? Come on, I told mine...

Yep. Brat. There it is.

Woo hooo, woo ooo oooh...

No diggity, no doubt.

Well, I'm moving. And I find that, in order to avoid packing the stacks of flattened boxes lurking in every room, I get completely absorbed in the shopping channels. Especially the make-up shows. I can't help myself. I guess I'm just nervous about the move. But it's just no excuse for avoiding The Boxes.

They just sit there. They refuse to pack themselves. The bitches.

Had a lovely Sunday sans Cloaked, Bible-Toting, "The Tower" distributing type-people. So my dog got to take the day off. A full day without people-eating. But ... the time ... it is coming. HE... he gets hungry [insert jaws music]. He must ... be fed.

So okay. I didn't want to say it. But yes, I have a crush. Anybody watch last season's Surreal Life?

Yeah. It's like that. Now you understand my reluctance.

Rat-faced Tattooed SmokerSlut

Sunday, these spooky bible-beaters came a-knockin, spreading their cult's, er, faith's publications. And my dog decided he wanted to eat them alive. It was fantastic. They were scared hymenless.

Okay, that was kinda gross. But it just popped into my mind, and it was just funny enough that I had to leave it in there. Anyway, I had to drag him away from them as they stood there, frozen, a look of confused terror on their faces. Pup was growling and tearing at the carpet to get at them, his ears way back on his head and his fur in a line. It was neat. I think their confusion was about the fact that the dog was doing it instead of me like last time.

Okay, since y'all don't know me, I can tell you that I have a crush on a certain celebrity. Okay nevermind now I feel like a dork.

I'm already dreading school starting back up. I mean, I love the part right before, when you get your planner and your paper and your writing tools together and put it all in a bag and stuff. It's just the studying and the assignments that I dread. And the payment thing. That part sucks, too. Because I'm not exactly going to a community college, and by that I mean that I lose a major organ to the black market every effin' semester in order to keep going there.

Mmm Qdoba.

there's a pube in the floss

Okay this is another post about movies. Because I've watched a few very strange movies lately, some of which require a moment of silence following the credits to wonder the meaning of it all.

Heavenly Creatures was very cool in an imaginative, colorful sense, but then they like... kill someone. Okay, why can't they just be bonded and get it on without letting things get out of hand? And it was true, all true. Donnie Darko was nifty and creative, too, and either genius or great at faking it. But I think it'll take another watching to truly grasp it.

Is Jake Gyllenhaal hot (or handsome, whatever) or creepy? Because he seems to go from one to the other at an alarming pace, David Bowie style. And he looks exactly like his sister, and unfortunatly it doesn't look as good on her. But they're okay.

The worst movie ever has to be The Man Who Fell To Earth, which made me want to take a rusty, dull spoon and slowly carve my eyes out. Even considering the fact that David Bowie is clearly God's gift to all intelligent life.

What, would you say, is the weirdest movie you've ever seen that was still good? I'm trying to figure out what I'd vote, and I think I'm swinging toward Being John Malkovich.