8.28.2006

Swamp Crotch

I'm currently addicted to Blow Pops. I know this has no relevance on the state of the world, but there it is.

I hate it when women saturate themselves in perfume and then frolic around in the world a-stankin.

Why should I have to deal with your nasty funk? It's NOT going to hide the fact that you haven't showered in a week and your hair looks like wet straw. You've only added a whole new layer of NASTY onto your already putrid essence. If you're doing it to attract men, it's NOT GOING TO WORK. Leaving a trail behind you is not flattering, it's gross. If I walk down the aisle at the grocery store and can smell you even when you're no longer there, you're gross. I don't care if the shit cost you 600 bucks. No perfume smells good when you've bathed in it.

And by the way, you're not fooling anyone with those tits. The massive cavern between them gives you away. You overpaid the surgeon.

And nobody is believing that hair color, either.



Am I mean? I know I'm evil, but am I mean, too?

8.10.2006

Norm MacDonald is the Grim Reaper

Sometimes I wonder if all the people whose blogs I read were all on the same bus that was driven by a drunk that ran it into a giant ravine somewhere, leaving them all either dead or fingerless and unable to blog.

WE INTURRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU THIS URGENT MESSAGE

Greyhound Bus #67937 travelling east on Highway 40 was recently sighted plummetting into the Grand Canyon.

Among the passengers on the list are:

Rachel Norfleet
h8
Trevor
Jake (seen fleeing the scene, may have survived for a brief but delightful comment on Kara M****y's blog)
BlueLP
RelaxLove the Tomcat

If you have any information that may assist in the pending investigation, please contact us immediately.

Stay tuned for more local programming, and we'll see you tomorrow for Your News At 5 AM.
I'm Tits McGee.
Stay Sexy, SanDiego

8.02.2006

WAKEY WAKEY

Here's something that'll put a little shiver down your spine. You're welcome.

sharon

Wow, being sadistic can be fun.