Look, kids! Mommy bought Syphilis!

This, my friends, is our old friend, The Clap!

Okay how awesome is this... these people ("GIANTMicrobes") actually make plush viruses, bateria, and other goodies, including (drumroll please...) venereal diseases!

They even have bedbugs and bookworms! I'm totally getting my 20 year old brother a bag full from their "Venereals" collection!
Seriously, how funny would it be to give this to someone at like... a sweet 16 or a graduation party or something? Or a bachelor's party ("this will be the last gonorrhea you get, buddy" type thing). I don't know, but if I ever work in a cubicle, I'm SO surrounding my desk with these cute cuddly buggers, especially the Flesh Eaters!
Check out the plush version of what some of you are probably sportin' right this minute!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

I'm a shadow boxer, baby.

Fiona Apple's new album (you know, the one that's been held up for what seems like decades), is finally available for pre-order on iTunes! It's called "Extraordinary Machine." I hope it's as good as Tidal was.

I just got Tiger! (It's a version of OS X) It has dashboard widgets! And Exposé! It's fabulous. I'm so in love with my Mac , and have been since WAAAAY before this iPod craze (I'll note that I had one before they were popular, and when they still cost 500 bucks for a 15 gig). I've been a hardcore Mac addict for most of my intelligent years. And they just keep getting better and better.

Eye Candy for today... it's a thing of beauty:
Anywho, I totally skipped school today. I just plum didn't go. I was planning on it, and got all dressed and shyte, but just shrugged it off when it was time to get in the car. Instead, I went to the fridge, grabbed a Pepsi, and sat down in a recliner. Can you believe this shit? Sometimes I don't even understand myself. I'll do stuff like that, totally unplanned, out of the blue, and for no particular reason. Last semester, I was on the road to school, and unexpectdly took a right instead of a left, and instead of going to class, went to the salon and had my nails done! WTF? Am I the only one that does these things?

I've been thinking. When do you switch from "early twenties" to "mid twenties," and later "late twenties?" I'm thinking early twenties is 20-23, and mid is 24-26, and late is 27-29. Which means I am in my mid twenties. Wow. Still chewing on that one. It hit me on my b-day that I'm dangerously close to thirty, which is a hop and a skip from forty, which is very near 50. So yeah, I'm putting a deposit down on my dentures next week.

Closer To Fifty

Whellp, I'm this [ ] much closer to fifty. Birthday was groovin'. I did visit Home Depot and get myself drilled. I had a blissfully no-stress happy weekend. I just wish I felt the same right now... I pretty much feew like cwap. My ferocious beast of a soft cuddly dog is upstairs barking his fool head off at God Knows What, and that's not exactly Advil Liquigels on my head right now. I think I'm going to fix myself a stiff drink and go to bed early.

Went and saw Constant Gardener and Red Eye. CG was good, but sad, and I left feeling hopeless. Red Eye was better than I thought it was going to be, but the last two lines were cheap and cheesy.

Oh My God. I just looked over at the tv and it was a commercial for a pregnancy test. I guess I should fess up - I've (apparently) starred in a pregnancy test commercial. One where I paint "kara" on a big glass window. Yeah, they had to dye my hair brown and make me look about 10 years older for believability. I guess when I moved in with a housemate, they thought I'd fit the bill for someone that may get knocked up. (what's that phrase all about, anyway?)

Big Brother is pissing me off. All the assholes are gone and we're left with the lesbian and the self-righteous bitch. I'm obviously for the lesbian, but the person I wanted to win it is gone.

Well I guess I have nothing interesting to say, so I'll sign off. Hope everyone had a good weekend.
Here's a free piece of eye-candy, from me to you, in honor of my birthday...

Mrs. Murphy if your nasty

You want to know something weird? I used to be a big Rodman fan. I loved his balls-out sort of style. He doesn't give a shit what we think of him. And that, my friends, is the way to be. The whole "wedding dress" fiasco disturbed me, but I was diggin' his nervy personality. I'm drawn toward the bold and ballsy.

That said...

I just really don't get the crochet wrap thing he's sporting here. Girls aren't even wearing them anymore. Of course this pic is probably from the dark ages, like... 2004, but still.

*ding* Topic Change

Man I'm tired. School schmool. I have to get up at 6:30 three times a week. I'm not cut out for that crap. And I found out that one of my finals is from 7-9 in Dec. WTF? And, by the way, I am so sick of people my age (okay a couple years younger). Girls are SO ANNOYING. How did I ever sleep with one? Geez. If I have to hear that nasally, whiny "oh my god, Becky, look at her butt, it is so big.. she must be one of those... Rap guys' girlfriends..." type voices, I'm going to take an aluminum bat to their teeth.

Please, GOD, tell me someone knows what that quote was from. I didn't make that up. Please. Lie to me if you have to.

*ding*

I'm about to have a birthday. Not exactly thrilled, but hey. I only get one a year, right? I'm thinking about going to the casino and having some drinks and... uh... going back to Home Depot.

Speaking of which, that's getting to be a more, shall we say, regular occurrence. I'm referring, of course, to building decks. I'm thinking about installing a pole in the basement. You know. To make things stand up. Poles are installed for their sturdiness and stability. You can hang things on them, too, you know.

I like Home Depot.

Lots of tools.

Apparently I'm a Dirty Girl.

Okay so now my ad account has been, for all intents and purposes, deactivated, because apparently [[[drumroll]]]

I have adult / mature content.



Excuse me? Do I look like someone who would post adult material? I think not.

So anyway, now my ads have been yanked. But, you can still use the search function, and if your search brings up sponsored links and you click one, I make money off of that. Which is cool. And you can still donate through my Red Cross link over there, but I make nothing off of that (which is cool, too).

So yeah. I guess I'm dirty even when I'm not. Which is never. So everything works itself out in the end, doesn't it?

I'm just trying to figure out what, exactly, they found that was questionable, given some of the other sites I see with their ads still up. I guess falling genitalia first onto my housemate could have set up a tiny red flag. But I rarely use explicit language, I just use suggetion or imagery.

Maybe their psychic and know that my mind is explicit and that I'm a danger to all things republican.

Gotta go, I'm late for my liberal, lesbian/gay rights, anti-war, anti-gun orgy sponsored by pornographers.

Multiples Are Good

Aaaah. Hello my fellow bloggers!

Ah, yes. It's a beautiful day today, isn't it? Just lovely. I'm in such a jolly-good mood today! Why, you might ask?


Ah, well... I'm pretty sure you an figure it out.



iPod is now playing: "Androgyny" (Garbage)

Son of a

I can't believe this hurricane shit. I wish I had more money... I gave some to Red Cross, and I'll give more next week and most likely the weeks after, but I still feel helpless. I can't imagine...

A local DJ was saying how we see these tragedies hit other countries and think, "wow, they just really weren't prepared. They should have planned ahead like we do in the US.

And here we are. I feel like it's some kind of nightmare. These people have no belongings, no jobs, no cars, no clothes, no hairbrushes, tampons, toothbrushes... and I mean, I know other nations have entire populations like this, but for that many Americans to be so without them, it's just very strange and horrifying. I don't mean that it's worse for us because we aren't used to it, I just mean it's startling. Alarming. Eye-opening.

I have family south of Nashvegas, and it hit them some (though not remotely liken further south). Their whole community has been the constant sound of chainsaws because there are so many downed trees. And look how far north that is in comparison to where the storm originated.

Nature is scary. And we are small.