Merry Holidays and all that shit

Howdy.

How is everyone's holiday going? I don't celebrate Christmas, so I can blog today.

I just finished school! I can't friggin' believe it. Now I get to return all the phone calls and email msgs I haven't replied to in weeks.

Onward and upward, as they say. I guess I could keep going and get my doctorate. Dr. Kara M***y. That would be freaky.

Which reminds me. I googled my name (in google images) and there are a bunch of pictures of girls with my name. One is apparently a "cabin councilor," and another was wearing a long blue gown and looks like she has a metal rod up her ass. So which one am I? Thankfully, none of them are me.

So, because Rachel was so into the Gingerbread Blast at Sonic, I decided to try one while I was there yesterday. And my gawd that's some good shit. I recommend them if you like gingerbread.

Observations of the Day:

1) Boys named Mark are almost always hot.

B. Salt trucks are really farking loud when you're trying to sleep (I imagine those of you in the south have no idea what a salt truck is, but just know - they are loud).

iii: Like Donnell, I am deeply addicted to Sudoku puzzles. I predict that there will be a 12-step forming for this soon.

5 Facts

I got infected by K. (You should totally go to her site, but if you pee a little when you laugh really hard, be wearing a diaper.)

Directions: Write 5 random facts about yourself, and then list the names of 5 people whom you in turn infect. Also, leave a post to these people letting them know they have been infected.

Here goes:

1. When nobody is around, I sometimes watch Three's Company. I know, I know.

2. I like making silly putty snap, crackle, and pop by putting air bubbles in it and then squeezing.

3. I love getting my nails done, but always feel really dirty because it feels so good when they massage my hands. Makes me feel guilty.

4. I really want to put a tiny stud in my nose. I think I have one of those noses that could pull it off, too.

5. I totally adore vodka martinis. Especially with about 1 billion olives.

Okay. I hereby infect:

Rachel

Murph (Yeah right, you're never on anymore. But I can hope)

h8

Kevin

JB

Jump in if you want to. I'd be interested to see what you come up with. Mine were so completely random that I have no idea what made me think of them.

Hope everyone has a good week. Mine's going to suck royal blue gonads.

Favorite Quotes [Part 1]

1. I've got a fever. And the only prescription... is more cowbell.

2. (read this one aloud if you don't get it:) Once a woman is introduced to Colonel Angus, she'll settle for nothing less. They say all the womenfolk just love Colonel Angus!

Colonel Angus: "And if I overstay my welcome, just tap me on the head."

Colonel Angus: [ to a passing farm boy ] "You there, Boy! Ride into town and tell the Postmaster that if anyone is looking for Anal Angus.. to come knockin' at the rear entrance of Shady Thicket."

3. "Hello, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports."

Peter: "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, uh, I use the side door, that way Lumbergh can't see me... after that I sorta space out for an hour."

Milton: "I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire."

"Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt on the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass."

4. Tyler Durden: "This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

"I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."

"I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection."

[there are just way to f'ing many bitchin' quotes from Fight Club. If you haven't seen it, you should seriously drop everything and watch it, post haste.]

The shit is caked on there.

You know what I hate? When people are so insecure that they have to wear a good three pounds of makeup. It looks like spackle.

This girl in one of my classes that wears so much mascara that it looks like a family of spiders are trying to crawl out of her skull. It's nasty. And the lip-liner! My GOD!

Anyway, she approached me yesterday to ask me my opinion on something, I could barely hear what she was saying, because her face was humming like a flourescent light. It was like, when you're swinging a spiral phone cord, and it does that 3d thing that makes you dizzy. Her skin is back a full inch from the level of the makeup. Then the spiderlegs flapping everywhere. Ech. I just wanted to take the trowel away from her, hold her face in a toilet, and flush about 5 times until the water actually penetrates the surface of her makeup, and then take a sander or a chisel to that shit.

they're real, and they're spectacular

Okay so this morning I go to this girl's dorm room to work on a project. No, I'm not saying it in quotes, like "working on a project," because we really were. Anywho, it was a really nice building, so I was kind of expecting this really clean room with the shoes all lined up in a row and shit. So boy was I surprised when we walked in the door and there were little walking paths everywhere, and tons of shit stacked on tons of shit.

I used to be a dorm girl. I know you have a lot of stuff and a little bit of space, so I just went with it. I put my stuff down and got out the stuff. We sat in her kitchen area at this weird table thing that came down from the wall and locked in place. It was weird, but kinda cool. Anyway, we got started, and about an hour in we decided we needed a calculator, and she said she had to use the bathroom, and would I go grab it off the desk in her bedroom. I walked in and saw that her desk sits perpendicular to her bed, in and L shape. I looked around the room a little bit. It was actually pretty cool. She had posters on the wall of good (and bad) bands, and hot (and fugly) guys, the normal stuff. She had a "hello kitty" pillow on her bed. And that's when I saw it. Now I'm not absolutely sure if I'm right in my assumption. It was purplish silver. It was a hard plastic. You see where I'm going with this? It was sticking out from under her sheet.

I kinda freaked out and frantically moved stuff around on her desk to find the calculator, and fuLEW out of that room. I know my face was a little red. Not because of what I saw, but because I felt so much like I'd just violated her privacy. It was obvious that it was supposed to be covered. And then I had to work on the project like I hadn't just seen something that had seen something that had been in lahdeedee land. This is an experience I could really do without. It's different when I know her, and have some sort of familiarity with her sexual side. But I don't know this girl from LaTisha. Frankly, I don't really like her, either.

And after I left, I couldn't help but think I should have covered it the rest of the way, because think about it. She's going to go back in later, see that, and wonder if I saw it. If I had covered it up, then she wouldn't worry about it. I'm supposed to meet with her again Friday morning. I think I'll have a calculator in my bag.

Man. There is nothing more awkward than stumbling across someone else's private stuff. Well, I guess she could have seen me seeing it. That would have been a lot worse. eew.

Relax. Don't to it.

South Park Studios has a flash gizmo that you can use to create your own character. So. I decided to see what I would look like if I were drawn by the South park guys.
As you can see, it's strikingly accurate. Especially given the wings and the corset. How perfect is that?

So I got sick of my photo and blog description and changed them. I've changed my template too many times, and there are too many custumizations for me to switch that, but I think that will do it.

Anyway, someone's comment to my last post got my cogs turning. I have a theory. Are you ready? Here goes:

I think that the first romantic relationship a person has sets the pace for all the following relationships. If the person is pushy and theatric with their romantic gestures (and you kinda like it), then that's what you want in future boyfriends/girlfriends because you like the excitement of that feeling. So. If your next partner is calm or subtle (romantically speaking), perhaps less animalistic, it may be a nice change for a short time, but then you get... well, bored.

On the other hand, if they are pushy and raw and you DON'T like it, then from then on, you don't prefer calmer, more subtle people (and might be less... raw and into-it yourself). So if you end up with someone like, oh, say, ME, then you don't know what to do with yourself and just avoid them (sexually) all-together.

What do you think?

Today's Eye Candy:
Gael García Bernal
(see "Bad Education" if you dare)