whuh?

Okay ladies. I have a question for you. How often is it that you wish you could pee standing up? Well if you answered "All the time, Kara!" then do I have the solution for you! It's called the P-Mate!

oh. my. god. Somebody invented this, which means they had prototypes that had to be tested, and then mock-ups that had to be manufactured. Anyone seeing anything weird here?

I'm rather stunned. Sure, it must be nice for guys to just flop 'er on out there and letterip, but honestly, we gals are just made to squat. But I suppose there are a few girls out there that would be tickled, uh, pink, to use something like this, namely my friend's mom who is a trucker and pees in a bucket until she has to stop to fill up with diesel. But for us outside the convoy... I just don't know. Any thoughts?

So following the Big Brother saga, James is probably going to get the boot tomorrow. In which case I'm going to be annoyed, because they already got rid of Kaysar, the sizzlin' hot strategical genius, and only because of his stoopid decision to let his guard down for a milisecond. I love the way James plays, too. He sets his jaw and bulldozes the bitches down. He's kinda hot too, if you like the fierce fiery sort.

I can't believe I'm consistantly keeping up with a show. It's not something I've been able to do much. I kept up with the very first version of The Mole (way back in what, high school?), and I think I eventually caught every episode of the first season of Monk, but other than that... It's touch and go. All except, of course, Barnie and Friends. Can't forget that.

I knew others who were really into BB, so I thought I'd see what all the fuss was about. Now I'm hooked.

Well I'm off to absorb some Mrs. Dalloway (Virginia Woolf for those not steeped in the literary world). My professor is a published literary critic and I have to at least seem like I know my shit to pass.

At least I have the weekend to look forward to, during which I may accidentally fall genitalia first on my housemate.

gesundheit

I'm so tired of these farking allergies. Seriously. I was on Allegra, which works for me only about 15 hours, and the rest of the time I have to just suffer. So I went to the doc and tried Allerx, which you take twice a day, which barely works for me at all, much less for any length of time. I wake up and sneeze about fifteen times, then blow my nose until I have no skin left, take my am dose, and wait it out. Ech.

So today I'm supposed to go pick up my new prescription, or "script" as the hipsters call it. We'll see how that goes. If it doesn't work, see Paragraph One.

Moving went pretty well. Seems like everyone is moving right now. Tons of uhauls running around. Anyway, now I have to climb over boxes to get anywhere. But the new place is pretty nifty.

School starts Monday. DAMMIT! Don't wanna. But I did a countdown in my day planner. 68 total days of classes left before I graduate, after subtracting holidays and such. Seems like eternity. I'll be countin'em down baby.

I think I want to go get a manicure. 18 bucks I could spend in more productive ways, I know. Like... a few Grande Vanilla Bean Coffees at the coffee shop.

iPod Now Playing: "Hell Yes" (Beck - Guero)

Local Woman Turns Rabid After Encounter With Skankass Cashier

I decided to share with you guys a photo representing my physical appearance yesterday after my brush with cashierwhorebag and my echy psuedo-sick feeling hit.

But anyway. Feeling a smidgeon better today. Went to doc for a new prescription for my allergy issues, since I ran out of Allegra. She put me on a med called Allerex, or however it's spelled, so now I take a pill twice a day. One revvs me up, the other will knock my ass to sleep.

Tomorrow should be fun, then. Having a dose of revver upper - I'm guessing I'm going to be bouncing of the walls. Hmm. Wonder what it would do in conjunction with my grande Mocha Latté. Or maybe it'll be nice with a couple of my Caramel Truffle Mini Cigars. Yep, you heard me right. The anti-smoker of the anti-smokers has a tin box of these yummy caramel and irish cream cigar(ettes?) that were given to me to have once in a while. They are lovely.

You know what word I like? Sphincter.
Is that strange?

Meh.

I'm starting this entry with a moment of silence.

I feel like a light bulb. My head is pounding and my eyelids feel hot and burny. I'm generally pissed off at the world today. Went in to the gas station for some coffee and a pack of gum, and the bitch behind the counter pissed me off effortlessly.

I look up and smile and set my selections down. She doesn't even look at me. She mumbles something to the guy standing casually behind her who is slouching against the wall watching her, presumable her manride. So I say, "hi how are you?" while fumbling for my cash. She responds with, "yeah, she never even called back. So I'm like, whatever."

Ooookay. So she rings me up and she says "two thirty two."

Is that it? No, "that'll be..." no "two thirty two please," no nothing? Just the Total flung haphazardly in the air?

So I decided to teach the bitch a lesson and switch gum flavors. I put the pack back and put a new one up, just to show her who's boss. She just looked blankly at the pack.

"How much again?" I scoffed, smirking.

"two thirty two, so I guess I'm going to drive up there and pick it up. Did you get ahold of Jerry?"

I'm like HELLO WHOREBAG SKANK, YOU'VE GOT A CUSTOMER HERE!. So I smile and hand her a twenty and the change so I'll be even, and apparently that was WHOA way more than she could handle. She eventually shrugged and typed in my amount, and then a glimmer of "ooh okay I get it" crossed her fugly face as she handed me back only bills. HA! TAKE THAT. Hmmph.

So I strut to my pretty yellow beetle with a carefree, nobody has pissed me off, nope, not at all type attitude.

Only to be cut off by some bum ass tourist trying to pull into my lane with no signal.

And now I'm feeling all eegy. I'm tired. And I want my bahbah. the one full of yummy marguarita juice please. and my beenky.

Topic Stir-Fry

Looky what I found!!

This company, called Celebriducks has made celebs into cute little duckies! They are so good, too. There is a lot of attention to detail. They even have Buddha and Jesus ducks!

Of course I was drawn to Dr. Frankenfurter. It's going to look great in my new digs. Now Mr. Man have to live with me and my Tranny Ducky.

So are you guys watching Big Brother? Kaysar got voted back in (thanks, no doubt, to my gozillion votes) by a whopping 82%. Poor Eric will have to go home and be a bossy arrogant asshole to his own family now. Aaww. Poor Maggot will have to play by her widdle wonesome self.

I guess there's always the rascist lesbian bigmouth to keep her company. She's hot, but she's annoying as hell. And her rascist comments make me want to hork. The bitch actually called a Muslim housemate "Osama Kaysar BinLaden" and a "sand n****r." WTF? I'd have to kick her ASS. Who the hell makes comments like that anyway? Grow up, skank. He's an American. Get over it.

Can you tell I've not gotten much packing done in the past two days? And I have exactly 5 (five) days left. I've only used one roll of packing tape. And of course after I spend like 15 bucks on rolls of normal tape, I discover this stuff. It's clear packing tape with a built-in string in the middle, so you just basically pull the tab to open the box.

I tend to find out what I need to know slightly after I needed to know it.


The good news? I don't have to buy anything for school this last semester. I have enough school crap for a small village of children.

Hmm. Progresso Garden Vegetable... gotta go.

winds of change are a-blowin'

I can't believe Peter Jennings passed away. Lung cancer. He was no longer a smoker, but had smoked when he was younger. It's so sad. I really liked him. He was too young, too. Still handsome, and incredibly wise.

I don't want to just complain every entry, so I'll gloss over the fact that I have two more weeks until school. Done.

I don't want to just complain every entry, so I'll gloss over the fact that I have one week before I have to be packed and ready to fill up the Uhaul I rented for two days.

Is anyone watching Big Brother 6?!?! Oh my gawd. Please. Somebody tell me you are following this.

Did I talk much about where I'm moving to? Let's just say I'll be living with a member of the opposite sex, whom I plan to engage in frequent intimate contact with, and whose laundry I will more than likely end up washing and hanging. Yay for domesticity! Go team!

On my iTunes right now: "People of the Sun" (Rage Against The Machine - Evil Empire)

so uh... yeah.

Things I've learned today: Watching The Big Lebowsky does not aid in the packing and moving process. Maybe it was my "shomer fucking shabbos." God what a classic. I love John Goodman.

I swear you guys, I'm just so unmotivated lately. I mean, I'm excited about the new digs, I just... I guess I'm just not looking forward to the actually moving part. And maybe I can avoid thinking about the stress of it by jumping headlong into a movie for a couple of hours.

Dude, did I mention that I graduate in five months? Talk about scared shitless. I'm terrified. But then again, I've already talked about that ad nauseum. Just know that graduation is among the stressors for me right now. Well, that's also assuming I can pass this last batch of classes, which, I might add, are insanely difficult. I'll have 4 classes, and it'll be about 2 too many time-wise.

I sware, sometymes beeng a know-it-all genius skolar is such a todal bumber.

Who, Me? Never.

Sometimes I wonder why I take these quizzes. I mean, they're only right like 92.763% of the time.

HELL LEVEL 2

Raw score: 66%
You're just about as deep in sexual hellfire as a person can get.
Virtually no urge, however demented, will go ungratified; practically
no boundary will go uncrossed.
You're probably proud of your adventurousness, and, honestly,
you should be. Few people are confident enough to pursue pleasure
on their own terms.



Your morals could sink a bit further, sure, but it's mostly likely that
you've got a pretty good idea of what you're into and what you would do...
above all you're honest with yourself with what you want.
If more people told the truth, you'd have a lot more company
down in the flames.



AVOID: the lost souls in sexual heaven and (above all) the denizens
of sexual purgatory. You don't need any prudes or wishy-washers in your life.

Link: The Sexual HELL Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid